18 months ago I had my hair cut off from this:
And since I had it cut, I have had it shorter and then longer on the top but shaved at the back, and I’ve had some really good haircuts, but I’ve had more that have been terrible. I don’t earn a lot of money so I can’t afford to have it cut somewhere expensive and therefore, presumably, good. I had it cut today by the same girl who cut it last time – last time it was amazing, and I really liked the shape of it:
And then today I ask for it a tiny bit shorter at the back and on the sides because I had to have it cut about 3 weeks after the last time and I end up with a short back and sides and I hate it.
I find it so annoying that we put our looks into the hands of people who act like they’ve listened to what you’ve asked for, but then do something completely different – and maybe it’s a British thing, or maybe by the time you don’t like what they’re doing, it’s too late – but I thank them, pay my money and say ‘it looks great’. Maybe I need to change my attitude, but does anyone else have the same problem? I love having short hair, but pretty much every time I have it trimmed, it’s awful for 2 weeks, then I like it for a week or so, then it gets too long and needs cutting again. I think I’m just going to grow it out, it’ll be much easier to explain ‘I want a bob’ than to explain what kind of crop I want.
Michelle Williams has long been my hair idol:
I know I should be philosophical about the whole bad hair cut thing, but I find it does matter, it’s not enough to say ‘oh, it’ll grow out’ because I feel unattractive and it’s not like I think I’m the most beautiful person in the world, but I don’t like looking like a less attractive version of myself than I know I can be (if that makes sense). Maybe that just makes me vain – I wouldn’t deny that I’m vain (e.g. I don’t like wearing my glasses if I know I’m meeting new people). I don’t want to go back to having my hair as long as in the first photo – those curls are the result of lots and lots of product and hours of curling it with tongs and it still dropped out – and I don’t think it suits me, but I don’t know what the solution is if I’m unhappy with my short hair when it’s cut but I don’t want it long again.
Sorry to rant, but I feel like my hair is a big part of my body image and how I feel I am putting myself out in the world. People always say that ‘normal people’ have body image issues because of models and actresses being so thin, and I think I feel almost permanently inadequate about my hair because it doesn’t look like some actress’s – an actress who probably has a hairdresser on staff, and certainly has hairdressers styling them for the red carpet. I used to want hair like Zooey Deschanel’s, but then I realised she has hairdressers and probably some hair pieces in there to make it look so thick. I can’t achieve what they can achieve, so I guess I need to stop trying. And find a better hairdresser who listens to what I want!